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Wednesday, 27 November 2013

image for Thanksgiving Comet or Royal Death Star? The portents look ominous
Queen Elizardbirth has a double tail 'just like Comet Ison' according to the Astronomer Royal

London, UK - The Astronomer Royal has issued a DeafCon Two alert about the Thanksgiving Comet as it crosses Queen Elizabeth's natal house of horrors in a sun grazing fly-past tomorrow at noon.

Comet Ison's imminent cakewalk takes place exactly 333 years after the appearance of the awesome 1680 Great Comet that sent various Eurotrash royals bonkers from Calais to Bloodyvostock.

Ison's perihelion position slingshotting around the sun on Thursday will also take in the ancient Old Testament feast day of Hanukkah in a karmic throwback to HM's Jewish imperialist roots.

These saw Elizabeth Windsor adopt the King Herod stance on covering up stuff 'like Jimmy Savile' to stretch out her horrendous reign beyond its real sell-by.

At the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, East London, Sir John Flamsteed's warning is being monitored closely along with sky charts showing a potentially lethal collision between the Queen and Comet Ison.

Cosmologists fear the sudden impact could see Ison bifurcate (WTF dat? 'Ed') before developing a gargantuan double tail 'just like Queen Elizardbirth'.

Catch the starry light show from a quarter to one.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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