PYONGYANG, North Korea - Reports coming out of North Korea are that Kim Jong Un is fit to be tied and he will get to the bottom of the latest sex scandal.
The Rice Paddy News Agency of North Korea reported that they received a video tape in the mail which allegedly shows Kim Jong Un in bed with a woman who claims to be the current reigning Miss Pyongyang.
The tape shows a figure that looks a lot like Kim Jong Un and he is smiling from ear-to-ear as the young woman, believed to be 24, hand feeds him grapes with one hand and caresses his [INTIMATE GRAPHIC WORD DELETED BY EDITOR] with her other hand.
Kim Jong Un informed a reporter with The Rice Paddy that after viewing the pornographic sex tape at least 17 times he can truthfully say that the man in the tape is definitely not him.
The North Korean leader said that the man in the video has a crew cut whereas he has a nice bouffant type hairdo that he gets done once a week at a cost of $67 dollars plus a $10 tip.
He also pointed out that the woman in the tape is not the current reigning Miss Pyongyang because the real Miss Pyongyang does not have a tattoo of a female komodo dragon on her left butt cheek like the girl in the video does.