Ottawa, Ontario, Canada-The Chief Computer Hacker and Head of Intelligence for Canada, Dudley Trudeau, announced today that he had intercepted details of a secret meeting between North Korean and Scientology dictators Kim Jong Un and David Miscaviage and right-wing agitator Ann Coulter. They were overheard forming an Axis of Evil, plotting world conquest, and splitting up Earth between the three of them-all while arguing over a restaurant bill. It was finally settled by sending the entire restaurant staff and their families to "The Hole," a new name for Kim's new labor camp.
The clandestine meeting apparently took place in the just-opened "Super Power" building of the Church of Scientology in Clearwater, Florida. While discussing their newly formed Axis of Evil, all three worked on developing various super-powers. Apparently, the diminutive leader of Scientology tried the enlarging ray, only to shrink even more, and the portly North Korean tried the strength machines in order to look more like Dennis Rodman, only to end up looking more like Bouncing Boy.
Ann Coulter was trying the De-Skank machine and not succeeding at all, causing all three of them to start yelling and ordering people tortured and killed, reported the Canadian Intelligence Agency. The meeting ended with all three of them agreeing to try to bring someone with an atomic weapon to the next meeting.