Written by joseph k winter
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Monday, 11 November 2013

image for Netanyahu in sheep's clothing meets Rouhani in wolf's clothing with Secretary Kerry descending
This complex of hotels in the desert will host the conference

Intelligence sources have just revealed an upcoming meeting of Prime Minister Netanyahu of Israel and President Rouhani of Iran at an undisclosed location somewhere in the deserts of the middle east.

This top secret meeting will also be attended by Secretary of State John Kerry, soon descending from the bowels of a presidential helicopter.

Mr. Netanyahu will appear fully garbed in the clothing of a sheep, which somewhat gives him a corpulent aspect, although his wool is reported of a fine white tonality and very curly and long.

Mr. Rouhani has chosen the long grayish black colorings of a North American wolf from an earlier century, possibly from the 19th century, as suggested by an aide to Mr. Rouhani who murmured, "After the fashion of the Robber Barons?"

Mr. Kerry has chosen--and meticulous attention has been drawn to objective verification of the accuracy of this report--the costume of a ballerina, with short skirt and white stockings. (He is not wearing a wig, however.)

Mr. Kerry is (privately by an aide) reported studying the vocal intonations and cerebral gesticulations of former Secretary Hillary Clinton, with frequent checking of his facial expressions in a body of mirrors within the presidential helicopter.

At stake is war, war, and more war, with a good deal of attention to the urgent need for it in view of the boiling tensions and historical barbed-wire thickets of thinking associated with this matter of Israeli-Iranian relations.

Additionally, American executives are leading a group of global oil entrepreneurs from far flung locales across the globe in their own helicopters toward this important meeting place in the desert.

They plan to put in a word or at least smile broadly near conference doors.

Numerous leaders of various jihadist groups, united in a quest for a supreme caliphate throughout the middle east, and generally in the style of al qaeda, are also inbound toward the meeting place.

Everyone is watching this tournament of arguments, theories, inveiglings, proseltyzings, and beatings of the war drums.

"Torrent," "tornado," or "tourniquet" (perhaps not "tournament") is the more judicious term to be applied for this meeting between sheep and wolves in the desert.

Mr. Netanyahu has clarified his sheep's clothing as representative of his true, inner yearning for peace and calm, not just in Israel but the world over.

Mr. Rouhani has clarified his wolf's clothing, but accompanied by a broad and warm smile from behind his white beard, as representative of the dignity of Iran and its purity.

Mr. Kerry has clarified his ballerina costume as representative of the true dance of the diplomat who must remain forever delicately poised for the tendu or the pirouette.

As with his predecessor Ms. Clinton, the Secretary's vocabulary must include "all options are on the table" and "so and so must go," although who so and so is, at this time, remains no more than another option on the table.

The world's presses are busy stuffing their pages with advertising and celebratory sales deals to take advantage of attention to this crisis moment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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