TORONTO, ON - The mayor of Toronto, ON has admitted recently to smoking crack, but is refusing to resign his position.
"How can I afford to give this job up? Do you realize how expensive a CRACK habit is?" states the mayor.
Locals are working vehemently to oust the mayor after police obtained video of him actually smoking crack.
"Oh, people are just overreacting," states the Mayor, "I mean look how much is going on in the world. I'm just trying to keep up with the demands of the job, plus I'm stimulating the economy. The pressure makes a guy wanna crack . . . or smoke crack, whichever."
A local we interviewed had this to say;
"The mayor is generally thought of as being a pretty decent guy. Its too bad they caught him. I don't know if I want a government official in office that can't hide his problems better though. When it comes to scandal, I want a politician that can keep the public snowed."