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Wednesday, 30 October 2013

image for Vatican admits to bugging World Leaders' Phones
Pope

Pope Francis has admitted that his evenings are spent mostly listening in to the conversations of World Leaders.

It appears that it's not just the Americans who delight in invading the privacy of sovereign states. The Vatican have acknowledged that they have been at the forefront of a global 'Big Brother' operation for the past 25 years.

Pope Francis has defended the abuse, saying that it gives him a head start in knowing how to 'pray intelligently for a lost and broken world'. And also 'beats the shit out of watching EastEnders'.

According to the Pontiff, his own personal favourites are Obama himself, who he describes as 'a very naughty boy', Angela Merckel, 'a serial sex machine and my personal favourite for up-skirt photos', and Nick Clegg.

Apparently he listens to Clegg in the vain hope that the man will say 'anything that might be worthwhile'. As yet there's been nothing for four years.

In related news the Vatican have admitted that Pope Francis was only their 43rd choice, the first 42 failing their CRB checks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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