London, UK - Buckingham Palace has been blown apart by Hurricane Jude in scenes of mayhem last seen during the Blitz.
The massive squall struck soon after midnight ripping the gubbins from the Palace plant room where Prince Harry's eco-friendly hydroponics experiment was nurturing this year's Christmas Cracker special. Yeah.
In the Palace's 39 acre gardens gusts of 95mph soon re-landscaped prized herbaceous borders into an impromptu landfill site, accidentally unearthing the graves of five dead pooches - Princess Mabel, Count Igor, Earl Osborn, Grand Duke Ferdinand and HRH Sir Adolf Bowes Lyon von Ribbentrop.
Nearby in the Royal Mews there was tragedy for the 1760 Sir William Chambers-designed Gold State Coach as vicious winds tore through the garage where a dozen royal carriages were soon reduced to piles of trash.
Inside the State Apartments themselves there were a news blackout after someone tweeted that the ceiling had caved in on the Queen and Prince Philip's bedroom, burying them in five tons of ornate plasterwork modeled by Capability Brown.
"That's bollocks," a flunkie eventually said, "everyone knows the Old Bird and her Herman Munster sleep in separate bedrooms in different Palace wings.
"Wanna see a dead corgi vid?"