Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 24 October 2013

image for False Widow colony shuts down Al Shabab-Kebab terror safe house
Hateched from duvets bought in a Buy-One-Get-One-Flea promo

Isle of Dogs, UK - A ferocious colony of venomous Tarantula Gullibellosa False Widow spiders has forced the immediate evacuation of an Al Qaeda-related terror cell in Barking, Isle of Dogs tonight.

Up to ten Islamo-fascist insurgents were holed up above Costas Spyrimidou's Kebab-U-Like takeaway emporium in Barking High Street when hundreds of the the eight-legged horrors began hatching inside the safe house's duvets.

Purchased just daze before in a George At Asda Buy-One-Get-One-Flea promotion the 13.5 Tog holofil-and-piranha-down bedding items unexpectedly sprouted into life shortly before midnight.

Hundreds of hungry hatchlings then began lunging viciously at Al Shabab-Kebab terrists' manhoods as they lay slumbering, out for the, er, count.

By 1pm most of the fugitives from justice were awake having been bitten in a sustained attack in what one of them described as 'an evil Pentagon drone assault', deployed from the USS Carl Vinson control room seven thousand miles away.

Commenting on the night's events a Barking CID spokesperson said there'd been an outbreak of the Fools Widow due to the warm, wet summer and blowy autumn.

A can of spider-killing zap gas retails for around seven squid ($10).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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