Written by Backandtotheleft
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Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Thanks to Back and to the Left's connections in North Korea (we sell them stray dogs from the RSPCA) we have discovered that Kim Jong-Un is having a ski resort built. Much like a blunt pencil it seems pointless to the rest of the world but a cracking idea to the world's most batshit insane country. Several objections were risen to the great leader but they were all swiftly waved away, with bullets.

Back and to the Left news looks at some other worthwhile projects the country has invested in while their population starves.

Not Disneyland Korea: A exclusive theme park that cost $40million to build was created after Kim (it makes him sound less like a fat dictator with the blood of babies on his hands and more like a cuddly middle aged ex-girl band member) had a dream. A dream of no lines. So he built the theme park and then wouldn't allow anyone else in except himself so he could run to the front of the queues.

Michael Jackson's Final Gigs: Contory to popular belief dancing paedophile Michael Jackson didn't die of a aesthetic overdose and he is alive and well in North Korea! Kim (of Kimmy to his friends, of which he has none as he's a cunt) hired the nonce after hearing a heavily edited version of "The Earth Song" and believed it was about him. Michael plays three shows a day to a audience of one and is paid only in small boy's.

The North Korean Basketball Team: A genetic experiment that created fifteen super humans. They became the fastest, strongest, tallest and brightest that basketball has ever seen. Unfortunately due to Kim Jong-un's immense personality problems they all chose to walk into the no mans land between the two Koreas and stand on land mines.

Despite the fact that their country relies on handouts of food and oil from China to keep functioning it hasn't stopped them spending their remaining cash on shite. They are the jobless, fifteen kid scum of the international world, giving everyone the finger as they go to work in the morning. They plan to press on with the building of the ski resort despite a UN ban on luxury items, which includes chair lifts. Kim Tae Young a spokesman said:

"We can make nuclear weapons and rockets. We can build a ski lift!"

Having seen the hilarious videos of North Korean missile tests (accompanied by Benny Hill music) I think we can expect Kim Jong-Un being launched into South Korea by a faulty one. But if they can build them they better get them built quick because we can't see him walking up there can you?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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