Written by joseph k winter
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Saturday, 5 October 2013

image for Senator Feinstein decides reporters must have government clearance
All certified reporters will enroll for outer space surveillance on their persons and work

Senator Feinstein is currently reported working toward legislation which will limit those who can report the news to official government representatives, with their work "classified."

That is, reporters will soon be government workers with special clearances and access. Additionally, their stories will be permitted to surface into news organizations only following approval from a new congressional committee advised by experts.

The process will entail 1) story writing; 2) submission to a congressional committee; 3) feedback and advice by military and business experts; 4) release to major news organizations such as FOX news.

All other news services will be banned under the forthcoming Patriotic News Narrowing and Security Act, Senator's Feinstein's current pet project.

In response to what these developments would do to freelance and citizen journalists, Ms. Feinstein was heard to remark, "Let them get a job by going through proper channels to make sure they're certified."

Certification for would-be journalists requires attending a series of seminars on suitable topics and attitudes for investigating all issues affecting government behaviors and programs, particularly the Defense Industries.

These seminars are currently being lined up with master trainers under the watchful eye of Mr. James Clapper (Director of National Security), and General Keith Alexander (Director of NSA or the National Security Agency).

However, Senator Feinstein's office denied that her office had recommended Mr. Snowden be placed on the President's kill list and appointment with a drone.

A spokesperson indicated this action could cause some problems as invasive to Russia's territorial protection concerns.

The notion was deemed "understandably attractive" but "not feasible at this time."

On the other hand the spirit of this recommendation to drone Snowden should be borne in mind by all persons purporting to analyse and report on matters considered "national security" and "national interests" by government representatives.

Senator Feinstein's spokesperson was emphatic. Trust is the key factor henceforward on all news reporting.

The public should understand that a certain amount of classified information must be kept under wraps, as with the example of developments in oil rich regions of the globe.

Proper and official reporting must convey this kind of news effectively, without stirring the public into anxieties or criticisms. Rogue elements such as Edward Snowden and those reporters assisting him must stand warned.

Under Senator Feinstein's new and energetic efforts to safeguard national interests no one should be on the side of "the terrorists" without risking that label also, plus lengthy time in prison for further reflections.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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