Venezuela has instituted a series of emergency laws in the face of the national toilet paper shortage. Besides ordering the Venezuelan Army to assume control of the only toilet paper factory in the country, President Nicolas Maduro has ruled that no true patriot can use more than 2 sheets of TP when wiping one's arse.
Any person caught wiping his or her arse with more than 2 sheets of toilet paper will have his or her toilet bowl conficated and will be sentenced to ingest 5 times the normal amount of Kaopectate.
In addition to that, President Maduro has ordered the removal of all laxatives from supermarkets and pharmacies.
President Maduro declared in a National Address to the Nation, "I mean business and no one is going to give me any crap!"