Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 15 September 2013

image for Canada Reports That Moose Rustling Has Reached Epidemic Proportions
A member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police searching for some moose tracks.

CALGARY, Alberta - The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have just informed the Canadian public that moose rustling has gotten way out of hand and something has got to be done.

Captain Jacques Renfrew with the RCMP said that just in the month of August they verified that rustlers managed to escape with over 800 moose including 11 that were pregnant with twins.

The captain stated that the moose rustlers are very clever and they only strike after midnight between the hours of 12:15 a.m. and 2:15 a.m.

When asked where the rustlers take the moose Captain Renfrew replied that they are illegally transported across the US-Canadian border where they are sold to petting zoos throughout the United States.

He pointed out that it is very difficult to get the moose returned to Canada because America does not allow for the extradition of moose once they set foot (hoof) on U.S. soil.

SIDENOTE: Captain Renfrew did explain that Canada is going to start branding moose and tagging them so that way, the United States authorities will have proof that the moose did come from Canada and not from Alaska as many law enforcement agencies believe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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