The international community has given the green light to President Assad of Syria to continue massacring his people.
The only stipulation is that he hands over his chemical weapons to his Russian pals.
Speaking from his luxury yacht off the Syrian coast, Assad told our reporters "This is an immense relief. At one point I though I would have to stop my murdering of civilians, but thankfully, no one minds as long as I don't get my Sarin out. I play a bit of hide and seek with it, like Iran's uranium, whilst happily shooting my people."
The Syrian people appear less enthused by this move.