Written by Gary Potter
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Tuesday, 10 September 2013

image for David Attenborough - Bans Human Evolution!
Equal evolution rights for humans

Following on from yesterdays evolution bullshit that humans were growing taller with bigger penii, Sir David Attenborough has now announced a halt to human evolution.

The surprise move, where evolution is an unguided genetic phenomena moulded by natural selection, has come as a surprise to evolution crackpot and atheist fundamentalist Richard Dawkins.

We contacted Dawkins on one of his bereavement counselling tours. "I had no idea. No one discussed this with me. How dare Attenborough come out with such a ridiculous statement, without my guidance? It's my job to come out with pseudoscientific horseshit, not his" as he slammed the phone down.

Our scientific advisor had this to say. "I'm afraid Attenborough is partly right. Evolutionists should stop hoping that they will one day grow wings and fly away. Humans are not evolving as Attenborough states. His befuddlement is that they ever were evolving in the first place. There is no evidence that humans were anything other than humans. The fact that Attenborough has recognised what scientists have proven over hundreds of years, will no doubt crush many believers in the evolution fairytale, but for scientists, it isn't much of a shock. Silly old bugger."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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