Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 25 August 2013

image for Unka Tony Blair will see us alright claims Peru 'drug mule'
Who ya callin a mule?

Lima, Peru - One of the bird-brained slappers caught trying to smuggle $2million of cocaine out of Peru has asked for 'Uncle Tony Blair' to use his legendary diplomatic charm to get the charges dropped according to a QM-NewsCorpse Deep Throat at Lima Women's detention Center.

Speaking via interpreters in a native thick Irish accent blond Michaella said the family's biggest string puller would see her and chum Melissa 'OK' in a deal swapping Peruvian visa violators held in Blighty and the Peru Justice [sic] Ministry in charge of the 'smuggling' case.

"He owes us, and plenty at that," the 20-year old said amid increasingly scary reports out of Lima that she and her fellow 'mule' would be languishing in a horrid Peruvian slammer for up to three years before the case can come to trial.

Her raven-haired pal meanwhile is said to be pissed at unflattering UK media reports about her doughnut hairdo which drugs police demanded to search in the belief there might be 'up to 100 wraps of stuff' hidden in the 'up-do' chignon.

Commenting on the allegations a Blair Faith Foundation spokesperson said Tony Blair has NO Irish relatives suspected of drug running and any daft DNA tests to the contrary 'are all part of a plot to discredit him'.

Half a kilo of best Bolivian snout retails around $100,000.

Yeah, right.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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