Written by WackyRedonkulous
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Thursday, 22 August 2013

image for Russian Military Will Begin Experiments with Edward Snowden's Brain
Edward Snowden: "Don't Funk with My Brain!"

You may have heard the rumor about the Russian military taking possession of Edward Snowden for scientific experimentation. As it turns out, Snowden was given political asylum but it was recently revealed that it was in exchange for making a secret deal with the Russian military.

According to reports, Snowden has stopped talking to the press, as the deal required, and now has become property of the Russian military. But what does the Russian military want with NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden? Rumor has it they want to access the information stored in his subconscious mind.

In theory, Edward Snowden's subconscious mind has stored a lot more sensitive intel than the one he revealed to Wikileaks, so now the Russian military is trying to figure out a way to access it. Will they succeed?

Apparently, there has been a new leak, this time of some obscure video footage showing Snowden riding in a snowmobile with the Russian military insignia on it.

At this stage, the source of the leak has chosen to remain anonymous and has only speculated that the man on the video wearing a black hood over his face is Edward Snowden.

The video was allegedly shot somewhere in the Siberian Forest, near a secret military facility that is the Russian equivalent to Area 51. Lots of bizarre scientific experiments are said to take place there.

But why has Edward Snowden become their latest guinea pig? Is he no longer a free man? Does he have any rights now that his American citizenship has been revoked?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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