Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 22 August 2013

image for Mystery 13ft horned monster washed up on Spanish beach 'has part JK Rowling DNA'
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Villaricos, Spain - Tests on a large, horned sea monster found rotting on a Spanish beach have revealed 50% of its DNA is a direct match for children's fiction plagiarist JK Rowling.

Advanced decomposition and a glutinous fluorescent substance oozing from the cranial cavity suspected of formerly housing the creature's brain made identification difficult for marine zoologists charged with identifying the beastie.

However a distinctive facial snarl resembling the writer's lop-sided trademark grimace spurred scientists from Spain's Programa en Defensa de la Fauna Marina to check the official World Health Organization's register of human-animal hybrids.

"It was just a hunch," forensic veterinarian Manuel Chupacabra commented, "in the absence of any reliable dental records."

Confirmation of the Rowling genome came after UK Fraud cops sent swabs of Prince William's bodily fluids for comparison which showed the sea creature had inherited all the same genetic material as the hoaxer prince.

Its remains are now being sent to plastination nutter Gunther Von Hagens-Daz whose will use his famous preservation techniques to mummify the sea beastie for posterity.

Expect the resulting artefuct to be exhibited at next year's Edinburgh Festival.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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