KAGOSHIMA CITY, Japan - The Saki News Agency of Japan has just announced that Mount Sakurajima has just had eruption number 500 since the first of the year.
A reporter with Saki stated that the volcano is one of the most ominous ones in the entire world.
The locals refer to it as The Angry Mountain That Spits Smoke, Ash, Fire, and Lava Way, Way Too Much.
The Japanese government has gathered a group of the nation's top volcanic experts in an effort to deal with the bothersome as hell situation.
Residents of Kagoshima City have purchased every mask in the entire city and plane loads are being flown in from Tokyo and Yokohama with thousands more.
Saki reported that Costa Rica is sending a freighter ship loaded with 200,000 masks plus 125,000 bananas as a gesture of goodwill.
France has offered to send over 15,000 white handkerchiefs as well as a dozen cases of Ooh La La Wine.
SIDENOTE: Reports out of Washington, D.C. are that the United States is taking a wait and see attitude regarding the matter.