Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 7 August 2013

image for Japan Launches Its First New Aircraft Carrier In 70 Years
Japan's brand new aircraft carrier the JS Sushi will be completely painted red. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

YOKOHAMA, Japan - The government of Japan has just launched what it is calling the biggest aircraft carrier in the nation's history.

Saki, the Japanese national news agency stated that the 820-foot aircraft carrier, which is the first in 70 years has been christened the JS Sushi and will be placed in service in the Sea of Japan.

The JS Sushi will be part of a Japanese fleet that will be sailing off the coast of North Korea keeping an eye on Kim Jong Un.

Its main objective will be to make sure that the North Korean leader realizes that if one of his flea market missiles hits Japan his country will be turned into a Walmart parking lot quicker than he can say Dennis Rodman.

The commander of the Sushi is Admiral Fujito Takatashi, who is the son of Hironashi Takatashi who was the commander of the infamous World War II aircraft carrier the JS Chopsticks.

Admiral Fujito Takatashi graduated from the United State Naval Academy at Annapolis, Maryland, and is married to the former Wanda Jo Klaustinheimer of the Hackensack (New Jersey) Klaustinheimers.

SIDENOTE: The Saki News Agency has stated that unlike most naval warships that are painted gray, the JS Sushi is going to be painted bright red in honor of the Japanese flag, the rising sun.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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