Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 23 July 2013

image for Royal Baby: First Glimpse Of Kate's New Boobs
Breastfeeding? Yuck. That's what wet nurses are for

London - The slightly conical rack of newly upholstered mammaries looked properly tethered down at their first public debut on the steps of the St Mary's Hospital Dildo Wing tonight.

And it's likely the twin boobies will stay firmly under wraps in a six month-long seclusion zone as a team of wet nurses takes over suckling young Baby Cambridge.

It's the first time breasts have been spotted on La Middleton's chest since surgeons removed some pre-wedding day falsies that had begun leaking 'like clockwork' once every month.

Those floppy cavities have now filled out in a process known as postpartum lactation which pumps home-grown maternal fluids into the mammary sacs before unleashing added female whoremoans into the busty minx - er...mix.

Commenting on Kate Middleton's new boobs a London paparazzo said 'WTF?' on the Seven O'Clock News amid colleagues' cries of 'Get yer tits out, love' as the Cambridge family sped off home tonight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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