Written by Joe Hype
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Thursday, 4 July 2013

image for Edward Snowden Takes Refuge in Benghazi
Artist's Rendition of Snowden

NSA leaker Edward Snowden can breath a sigh of relief after President Obama declared he would not scramble fighter jets to capture Snowden, shortly after learning Snowden had moved to Benghazi.

"It's just a place the President would rather ignore when it comes to Americans" said administration spokesperson Jay Carney.

Carney assured the press that "The President is spending every possible moment on YouTube to find an obscure but offensive video to ensure a hasty arrest is made of someone who isn't Snowden."

Though relieved, Snowden continues to remain puzzled as to why his incontinence has caused such an international media frenzy.

"I'm a leaker. I've been a bed wetter since I was 5 years old. Frankly, this entire affair is kind of hurtful."

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