Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 30 June 2013

image for 'You sure this isn't some sort of Borat trailer?' Kazakhastan President asks David Cameron
Dubya downloading a pirate Borat movie

Astana - The UK Foreign Office has reportedly paid a $10 million surety to Kazakhstan's Ministry for Truth and Good Behavior guaranteeing there'll be no 'funny tricks' in David Cameron's trip to the oil and gas-rich state this weekend.

For months aides of President Nursultan Nazarbayev were convinced that the British PM's visit might be some sort of comedy ruse by Borat actor Sacha Baron Cohen, whose parody of the Kazakh ex-Soviet Union state remains a thorn in Nazarbayev's flesh.

Baron Cohen, the celebrated lampooner of all things Kazakh, last provoked a top international crisis in 2006 which resulted in President Nazarbayev and US President George W Bush meeting in secret conclave to thrash out stuff, 'like Box Office receipts'.

This weekend's summit is slightly more tragic looking according to local Astana sources that reckon Cameron has come rattling the UK begging bowl in an arms-for-oil-and-gas swap worth hundreds of billions of squid.

Cameron's visit comes after years of oleaginous palm greasing by ex-Prime Monster Tony Blair who's beenn reported as working with the Kazakhstan government on political, judicial and economic crap since leaving orifice in 2007.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan remains the country's most pirated download film after The Sound of Music.

Sacha Baron Cohen's 69.

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