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Friday, 10 May 2013

image for Gillard declares martial law
The land downunder

Brisbane, Australia. In news breaking, tearing and generally wreaking havoc, Australian Prime Minister Julia (the perfumed shark) Gillard has declared martial law on the whole nation, following a near fatal decapitation of the PM by a deliberately thrown vegemite sandwich.

Ms Gillard was visiting a local public high school when the miscreant student attempted to hit the Prime Minister with a significantly spread sandwich containing extra amounts of margarine and vegemite.
The student was subsequently arrested and is being held in a maximum security gaol under 24 hour supervision. No trial is expected such is the reaction to this incident.

In a speech following the "brush with infamy", Ms Gillard announced that she can no longer tolerate any level of opposition to her regime and that subsequently martial law is now in effect. Nobody is allowed on the streets after 7pm and all licensed premises are now restricted to one hours trading between 8am and 9am.

The Prime Minister also announced that units of the Royal Australian Regiment will enforce the new law and they have permission to shoot and ask questions later. Ms Gillard says that nothing will stop her from imposing the "most unholy hell" on the general populous.

Time will tell what eventuates from this crisis.

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