Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 27 April 2013

image for Culture of entitlement, eh? Archbishop of Canterbury 'sitting pretty on offshore tax haven nest egg'
On his splendid pension pot today

Bahamas - Newly enthroned Archbishop Justin Welby is planning a rather splendid retirement in the Turks & Caicos Islands in ten years time as a hush-hush pension pot from former French big oil employers Elf Aquitaine continues to swell unabated.

A tip-off to QM-NewsCorpse.con sources this weekend has pointed out the existence of a First Pyongyang NarcoBank of Nassau Inc investment account brimming with Welby's retirement moolah.

"Gordon Gekko would take his hat off to him," the Caribbean deep throat commented, "looks like Welby's squirreled away enough to keep his nuts cosy for at least the next 25 years."

News of the magnificent featherbedding comes amid the Archbishop's latest anti-Mammon rant slagging off The City and its bankers for a 'culture of entitlement' and other greed issues.

Really despicable stuff.

The latest diatribe is one of dozens since Welby's Damascene conversion from Big Oil hell when The Lord apparently told him to get off his thieving marker crude ass, repent and cast out the filthy demons that forged him into a downstream hotshot at Enterprize Oil plc.

The rest is hystery as they say.

From his dazzling grace and favor residence at Lambeth Palace tonight Welby knocked back some vintage Veuve Cliquot in front of a monitor screen linked directly to the Nassau retirement account.

"Cheers, St Francis," the Archbish muttered, "poverty has never looked so good."

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 4?

5 16 24 25

Go to top