Written by PP Rega
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Friday, 12 April 2013

image for Jockstraps: Actually Make Bollocks Sag

Professor Jacqueline Toujours, Dean of the School of Sports Medicine and Automobile Repair at Toulouse, France has issued a press release declaring that jockstraps in male athletes impede fertility and contribute to the phenomenon of "ball drop" in later years.

Professor Toujours, or as she is known to her students, "Quaky Jacqui", declared that jockstraps really are a "false necessity."

She said, "I have studied the genitalia of 256 male athletes over the course of 10 years and have discovered that the scrotal sac droops an mean of 5 cm farther in athletes who wore jockstraps compared to those athletes who didn't. Not only that, but the more times the jockstrap is worn the farther the bollocks dropped over time. One weight-lifter would wear his jock 24 hours a day. He's 56 now and his testicles are down to his knees."

Many scientists criticize Prof. Toujours findings as "false research" done by a sex that has no comparable genitalia that would give credence to the data.

When the controversy was mentioned to Prof. Toujours, she sniffed, "Balls."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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