Written by John Cavanagh
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Topics: Madness

Sunday, 10 September 2006

image for Gone with the Spin
“Frankly Tony, I don’t give a damn.”

"I've got him. Phony Tony - right where I want him. What a bloody relief! I've had to put up with the Cherie and Tony show for way too long now. I can't tell you how infuriating all this madness has been."

"After nine long years of unrelenting media manipulation, the Labour party can finally rid itself of the likes of Tony Blair. Believe me; no tawdry snake-oil salesman will ever again take in Labour. No more spin: gone! No more Blair: gone! Gone! Absolutely gone. Oh the joy! Gone. Gone with the spin."

"Yesterday, I said to the man: Tony, you can't buy integrity. It's not for sale. You can't even rent it. You either have integrity, or you don't have it. And, you certainly won't find it in a press release."

"It wouldn't surprise me if this guy soon landed a job with his close pal, Rupert Murdoch. You know, Tony would be right at home at Sky News."

"Oh, that Judas kiss he planted on me at the Granita restaurant. He leant over and said: "It shall all be yours Gordon. Why, just let me have it for a little while. And yes, I actually believed him."

"I thought we were both men of principle. I thought he would be true to his word - our agreement. But alas, I was the only man of principle in the room. I wanted socialism, fairness and social justice for all. I was prepared to forsake my self-centred ambitions for a while. But he was all about power for power's sake. He played me like a fiddle."

"Gordon Brown - I do not know this man for whom you speak", he later remarked. "What agreement? What deal?"

"How much was the price on my head - thirty pieces of silver? Why, he'd do the deed for five pieces - and then stab you in the back for free."

"Well, I no longer need his poisonous agreements. I am being beckoned forth. Nobody can stop me now."

Blair said to me the other day: "Gordon, call off your attack dogs. Give me the space and distance to make a more graceful exit. When I go, with your gentlemanly forbearance, history can then make a proper assessment as to my legacy."

Of course, there was only one response to that: "Frankly Tony, I don't give a damn."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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