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Monday, 25 March 2013

image for Angelina body lanuague spells 'Yuck!' on Africa trip with UK politician William Hague
Fragrant lady with delicate sense of smell

Democratic Republic of Congo - UK Foreign Secretary William Hague has been accused of eating garlic sandwiches on his Congo trip with Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie.

Standing close to Brad Pitt's missus in a TV interview Hague seemed oblivious to body language that showed her cringing 'as if from a pong'.

The pair are visiting Africa to promote themselves as bona fide humanitarians and to ogle 'poor, dark-skinned people' marooned in hell.

Wrinkling up her delicate retroussé nose a perfectly made up and coiffed Ms Jolie spoke to reporters about the torment she'd witnessed on these foreign trips.

To be fair to the 'Mr And Mrs' actress her performance fell well short on the global cynicism register whose bar was last raised in 2011 by US sociopath Kerry Kennedy on a 'fat-finding' visit to the Ecuadorean rainforest.

Dressed in an immaculate $10,000 white silk Armani suit, $$$s worth of jewelry and designer accessories Ms Kennedy railed against crude oil pollution in the Amazonian rainforest by alleged villain Chevron Corp.

US energy industry sources were quick to point out that Ms Kennedy's appearance fee includes a reported 0.1% commission on any damages award collected from the US super major, currently being pursued for $19bn following a kangaroo court action in Lago Agrio.

Ms Jolie, by comparison, receives no cash for her 'diplomatic forays' although essential expenses are always reimbursed.

William Hague's personal aide has now been dispatched for a bottle of mouthwash in a concerted bid to create 'atmosphere' with hapless Jolie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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