Rome - Undercover Israeli secret service agents will be present incognito among Tuesday's inauguration guests after the new Pope tested DNA positive as one of Nazi scoundrel Joachim von Ribbentrop's brats.
Their operation comes amid NATO reports that Argentine president Cristina Kirchner 'is Pope Francis' first-born daughter' and likely to inherit a huge secret cash stash amassed by him during cold war raids on hidden SS loot.
This morning she was pictured glad-handing her dear papa Jorge Bergoglio and whining about the injustice of losing the Falklands.
Argentina's record of shielding Nazis and their respective sordid brats is second only to that of the Vatican, through which much stolen European wealth were laundered to so-called banana republics - like the one over which Kirchner presides.
And despite numerous post-World War II operations to recover stolen European artefucts, historic treasures and thousands of tonnes of gold the bulk of missing wealth shipped to Argentina has never been recovered.
Speaking about Tuesday's hush-hush op undercover agent Sgt Solly Matzo said 'WTF, oy vey?' to QM-NewsCorpse reporters who asked for a quote about tomorrow's blingy affair.
General Belgrano is 169.