Written by DP Whitehead
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Monday, 18 March 2013

image for Despite Hating The British - New Pope Hires English Chefs

Despite his hatred for the British and his lack of regard for the rights of British people living in the Falkland Islands, Pope Francis I has hired two English chefs to prepare his meals.

Marjorie Tomlinson, 54 and Tina Armstrong, 58, were hired by the Pontiff immediately after his election last Wednesday.

It is reported that the Pope loves Fish and Chips, Steak and Kidney pie and has a penchant for mushy peas.

Marjorie and Tina also confirmed that the pope loves nothing more than an a full English breakfast, known as a 'fry up'.

Tina told me "Only yesterday we asked the pope if he wanted a full English, with fired eggs, sausage, the works - he was busy, so he told us 'please don't fry for me, Marge and Tina...so we didn't."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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