Written by Gail Farrelly
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Friday, 15 March 2013

image for Pope Emeritus Wants His Old Job Back
"Hello again!"

"Mamma mia, I resigned too soon," he's told friends.

He had hoped to find another job, but he didn't realize that there aren't many to be found in this economy. Word is he's been pounding the pavement; but, so far, no luck. Potential employers aren't impressed with his work experience or his white beanie.

The former Pontiff has a complaint. A few weeks ago, people were bowing down to him and treating him with reverence and respect. They were eager to get his blessing and kiss his ring. Now they just pass him by on the street, with barely a nod or a greeting. When he shops in a store, he has to wait in line like everybody else. And sometimes he even has to give the Papal Emeritus elbow to fellow shoppers who are trying to push ahead of him on the line.

It's Rodney Dangerfield all over again. "I get no respect," the former Pontiff whines, continuing, "I had been making decisions for Catholics all over the globe. Now the biggest decision I make is what size package of spinach to buy."

The Pope Emeritus has been using Google to search for information sources on job opportunities for former Popes. "Is there an app for that?" he's been wondering.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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