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Wednesday, 13 March 2013

image for Argy Pope's link to the Nazis
Joy outside the Vatican

Rome - A second son of Hitler's Foreign Secretary Joachim von Ribbentrop is sitting on the Throne of St Peters tonight after the Vatican rewrote Mein Kampf-fort zone demarcation lines of NATO history.

Jorge Mario Bergoglio, 77, is Joseph Ratzinger's younger half brother, conceived in a Vienna brothel and shoehorned cuckoo-like into a refugee Sicilian family's Buenos Aires nest in December 1936.

His father von Ribbentrop was German ambassador in London and secured young Jorge's adoption in Argentina with a little help from the Nazi-supporting American ambassador to the Court of St James's Joseph Kennedy.

The siblings grew up unaware of each other until the death of Hitler's Pope Pius XII when they met their ultimate KGB handler the Queen Mother, who'd spawned George Bush Senior after shagging Pope Pius.

Tonight both von Ribbentrop brothers are in seventh heaven, safe in the certainty that Vatican protection of Nazi offspring continues unbroken for nigh on 100 years.

Expect lots of swastika-themed regalia and new tattoos to flourish at Francis I's coronation next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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