The outgoing Chief Rabbi of the UK, Lord Dr Jonathan Sachs, has made a magnanimous offer to the College of Cardinals in the Vatican by offering to become the new Pope.
His office said that he made the offer for a number of reasons, some practical and some personal.
He indicated that the regalia worn by the Cardinals as they sit in enclave must be a "bugger to clean", so he thought, on an entirely practical level, that he could save the local Magdalene laundry a lot of time and effort, especially as the laundry girls look so frail and delicate to handle such expansive and expensive regalia properly.
Also, as Chief Rabbi, he only ever got the chance of a small sip of wine on a Friday night as the Sabbath came in, and the thought of enjoying a glass and a cracker with congregants every service really appealed to him. He also felt that up to now he'd never been able to take Saturdays off, so this might be the perfect opportunity.
And having failed to make the amateur dramatic society while at University, he quite fancies re-enacting the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet on Easter, Christmas and other high holy days, especially as it is in front of such a huge audience.
He went on to say that closer cooperation between two of the world's oldest religions is a must.
He's never met Rabbi Coltrane.