Written by Jean Le Fete

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Topics: Pope, Vatican, Conclave

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

image for Cardinals Use Different Colored Smoke to communicate with The Outside World
Cardinals considering a woman Pontiff?

The Sistine Chapel is the location that the world's eyes are on now. Many have been looking for white smoke rising from the chapel as a sign the new Pope has been chosen. But, what they don't realize is that several other colors could rise, meaning several different things:

  • Orange Smoke means the Cardinals are really excited about a vote, but didn't quite make a choice
  • Green smoke means there was salad with lunch.
  • Blue smoke means the vote was more positive than one with black smoke.
  • Red smoke means somebody nominated a woman and the entire conclave is panicking.
  • Pink Smoke means there was a nomination of a gay candidate who everyone thought was straight.

Other signals include several flags that allow the conclave to request food orders, such as pizza, Thai, or spaghetti. "The world can rest assured we will communicate things as best we can," said Arnold Le Garrette, the Cardinal's official smoke signaler.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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