Written by Steddyeddy
Print this

Monday, 11 March 2013

image for Simon Cowell being brought in to help find new Pope
Cardinal Fang shows his enthusiasm

In a shock announcement by the Vatican today, it has been confirmed that Simon Cowell, the mastermind behind popular talent shows such as "Britain's Got Morons" and "£X-Factor" is being drafted in to bring some life to the process for choosing a new leader of the Catholic faith.

Instead of locking away a shed-load of elderly cardinals and waiting until one of them dies and is cremated to issue white smoke, a more popeulist (sic) format - "Pope Idol" - will be introduced, where candidates will take part in a cardinal talent show.

Each cardinal will perform a number of tasks - singing, cooking, knitting, chasing a choirboy and more, and the public will then vote, using premium rate telephone numbers of course, for their favourite.

The two finalists will fight it out in a boxing ring.

Cardinal Fang of Monty Python fame said it was an altogether better way of reaching the masses, because unfortunately, the masses have essentially, er, stopped going to masses.

The finalist not only wins the position of pope, but also a two week holiday in Las Vegas.

Make Steddyeddy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 1?

6 7 2 18
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more