An abnormal level of swearing and running about in fierce costumes has occurred within the Holy See over the past 48 hours after it was revealed that pranksters had smuggled a canister of pink smoke into the Vatican. The offending item was found secreted within the chimney of the Sistene Chapel during a routine inspection on Friday night.
The blame was initially laid at the door of female Anglican clergy lobbying for a Lady Pope. "they aren't even bloody Catholics", pontificated a Pontifical Swiss Guard crossly. Suspicion then fell on activists campaigning for full recognition of gay marriage in the eyes of God. An apalled cardinal said "Imagine the Papal palpitations if that had gone off, we'll need a spare Pope at this rate".
Finally a note was received from 'Choristers for Justice', who claim that "every last one of the candidates has played the pink oboe at some time or another and it is a high time the Vatican acknowledged it".
Catholic conniptions continue as a bag of unpopped popcorn has also been found at the back of the Sistene stove, immediately below where the smoke canister was hidden.