Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Pope, Cannabis

Monday, 4 March 2013

image for Obama sends emergency goody bags to Vatican Choom Room
The Vatican's first openly Rastafarian Archbishop is 6/4fav

Rome - College of Cardinals tokers got a rare treat today as an emergency aid package from the White House signaled the start of the Papal bong convention.

Hundreds of pick-n-mix Walmart goody bags laden with candy, chewing gum, cigarette papers, lighters, rubbers and micro edition copies of The Audacity Of Hope arrived at St Peter's Basilica where voting takes place to elect a new Pontiff.

According to our-man-at-the-Catacombs-mail-scanner the staple American bong fodder of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf++k was included in the consignment, mostly in the form of chocolate hash brownies or ready-rolled spliffs.

It means the grueling papal election procedure could have its lighter moments during traditional run-offs which use spent ballot papers to provide the smoke signals when a new Pope has been picked.

Traditionalists at this year's Conclave have insisted the outgoing Pope's personal bong is destroyed with a sacred gavel before the voting machine can kick off in earnest.

The revised procedure will then see the new Pope commission his own clay chillum whose 'maiden voyage' first smoke will be passed among Cardinals at a private ceremony in St Peters.

The Vatican's first openly Rastafarian Archbishop is 6/4fav in the upcoming ballot.

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