Written by Gail Farrelly
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Thursday, 21 February 2013

image for Pope Prays for a Retirement Party
No "Auf Wiedersehen" without the party and a watch.

And if his prayers are answered, the party will be held in St. Peter's Square, with thousands and thousands of attendees from around the word!

The Pope has told reporters, "Look, for years, I've been going out on the balcony and blessing that disorderly, smelly crowd. Enough! Now it's payback time."

Forget the hymns. The Pope wants the crowd to honor him in song. He's told friends that he expects a huge sing-a-long of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow," led by someone like Placido Domingo or Justin Bieber. And as far as the music goes, he'd ordered up a traditional Oom Paa Paa band.

If you think that the refreshments will include items such as pasta, gelato, and wine, think again. In recognition of his German roots, the Holy Father is praying for Wiener Schnitzel, Sacher Torte and beer.

For the partygoers, of course there's no such thing as a free lunch. The collection plate will be passed around in the crowd at St. Peter's Square. "I hope they get enough to buy me a nice gold watch," the Pontiff has said, continuing, "I'm staying put until I get one of those. It's the right of every retiree to get a gold watch. Amen."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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