UK Prime Minister David Cameron announced today from the black hole of Calcutta that India would be happy to pay off the UK debt of 15 Trillion pounds if they could 'borrow' the Royal Family for pompous ceremonies such as Changing of the Guard, Royal Jubilees and any future Coronations, 'just so India wouldn't forget the rich history they shared when millions of English people were murdered and stuffed down a great big black hole in Calcutta'.
In the biggest deal since the UK sold India the heritage of car manufacturers, Jaguar, as the plant and all employees were relocated to India in 2004, Prime Minister David Cameron was adamant in reassuring the British Voters that it would benefit every UK household in cutting the extortionate tax they already pay. The Prime Minister went on to say today that he wanted to see UK firms playing a bigger role in a "more open, more flexible" Indian economy, he said.
During what is Mr Cameron's second trip to India as UK PM, he is due to meet Prime Minister Man o Man Singh a Ling a Dig Ding and President Paraná Muk in a Bhaaji and will speak about how the UK will openly accept 500 million Indians on part exchange programs so that the UK would benefit from using Indians in the new and emerging 'Silicon Fanny' which is taking place in a shed in East London.
Mr Ba Ding Ding Ba Ding Ding Ba Ding Ding, creator of the world renound Crazy Frog phenomenon said today that 'Just imagine an army of Indians providing a better internet service providing, providing a better servicing providing, whilst breaking into an impromptu song and dance as part of the service'.
The prime minister insisted that India was "one of the great success stories of this century", adding that he believed it would be a "top three [world] economy" by 2030 and that if we don't let them bring their skills here to the UK for 'two pound thirty an hour and a chapatti with cheese they will take over the world as there is over one and half billion of the breeders'.
Cameron went on to say that said: "I don't come here to preach to anybody, but clearly every country has to be on their guard against bribery and corruption as the Indians themselves know but we are experts on it as our recent expenses scandal show, you gotta be in it to win it".
The prime minister also spoke of making Britain's visa system simpler for Indian businesses and that they could bring their extended families through a quick service customs created especially for them.
He finished by stating that "We are introducing today a same-day visa service for business people who want to come to Britain for linking up their businesses for trade and other things like that".