Written by Dontquotemenews
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Monday, 18 February 2013

The Vatican has received Word from God that the Almighty is suing Pope Benedict XVI for breach of contract following the Pontiff's recent announcement that he will resign as head of the Catholic Church.

Vatican lawyers received the news in an epiphany from Holy, Art, and Thou, the heavenly law firm that represents God. The Holy Writ claims that Benedict is in breach because he still has the rest of his earthly life to run on his contract with the Almighty.

"The Lord shall sue thee," states the Word from God.

The Vatican's lawyers have yet to respond, but are expected to plea that since the contract was written in Heaven, it has no jurisdiction in mortal courts. If the plea is successful, the case could go to a Higher Authority for a ruling.

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