Drinking too much of a well known fizzy, dark brown drink, not Guiness, can kill you but only if you consume ten buckets a day as a women did in New Zealand.
The reason why she drunk so much of the stuff was very simple; New Zealand is the most boring country on the planet if you're not into trekking, mountain climbing, visiting fantastic places of natural beauty, saving whales (Like Erskine Quint does) and you're not a fan of "Lord of the Rings", ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
She started drinking the stuff as a teenager; it rotted her teeth, stomach, brain and she died of a heart attack at the ripe old age of 36. Doctors say if she had stuck to beer, whisky or wine, she would have lived until she was ninety.
Coke executives refuse to accept any blame, quite rightly so, and issued the following statement:
"We are sorry that this woman died, but accept no responsibility whatsoever because everybody has the choice to either drink our crap or leave it!"
The author of this brown, not so fizzy crap, agrees totally and is just about to finish his second daily bottle of Vin rouge; BURP!