Our Vatican insider has spoken of his shock and distress at Pope Benedict's resignation from the Papacy.
Rumours are everywhere about why the Pope opted out. Was it his age or the threat of a new version of Revelations mixed with Sodom and Gomorrah? No one will ever know.
A dark horse has emerged as favourite to take over in Rome, he is from Romania and was once thought to be beefy, but now has mellowed and has been mixing well with his fellows.
He has been popular in Ireland and has influence in many areas of Europe. Thought for years to have been a real nag, you can find Cardinal Lovely Boyz in many disparate guises.
He is popular in Italy for his Spagetti Bolognese and has carried out several miracles - turning water into ice packs and transforming the economies of Eastern Europe.
Cardinal Lovely Boyz for the Vatican at 2 to 1 seems an excellent bet, although the Cardinal, recently accused of being a burger, fears a neigh vote.