Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Monday, 11 February 2013

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The Stoner Pope Retires

Vatican City-- Pope Benedict XVI is planning to resign at the end of February, and says it's all because of marijuana. The 'stoner pope' says that smoking marijuana is just as good as prayer, and recommends it to everyone.

The press immediately hailed the pontiff's decision to retire.

"He will be remembered as the man who forever linked cannabis and Catholicism." noted a writer at the Vatican High Times.

Pope Benedict spoke only briefly to the press after his announcement, but his words summed up the seven years of his reign.

"Jesus is ganja, and ganja is Jesus." said the pope with his heavy German accent. "God is weed, and wood is Gee, and Gwoed is woed." he stated in-between bong hits.

The stoner pope has only one desire for his retirement--to smoke weed 24-hours a day until he drops dead.

"Weed, prayer and love." these are the three paths to God!" declared the pope. "I look forward to the day when I can do bong hits in heaven with Jesus!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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