Written by CaptainSausage

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Friday, 1 February 2013

image for Cameron declares war on poverty
Let's invade poverty

UK Prime Minister David Cameron has made a speech at a UN meeting in Liberia, in which he has said that he would like to start a war on poverty. Other attendees at the meeting were mildly disturbed at the announcement, and there were concerns about exactly what he meant.

The Prime Minister said that he would never declare a war that he wasn't sure he could win, and he was absolutely sure that the war on poverty could be won. He was attending the UN meeting to attempt to explain why the organisation's Millenium Poverty goals were not on schedule.

On further questioning, the PM explained his position. He said that he would not rest until he had "bombed poverty into oblivion", and the UN should draw up "invasion plans". There was some confusion as to whether he actually intended to bomb poor people into oblivion. However, as he then said that he wanted to annihilate poverty in the UK, in Africa and throughout the world, it became clear that he couldn't actually be talking about using weapons of war.

He then confused everyone again by saying that the world needed to "nuke" poverty wherever it festered. At that point most international observers agreed to stop listening to him and ignore any other comments he made, much as British people are already used to doing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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