Written by DP Whitehead
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Tuesday, 22 January 2013

image for Prince Charles "Immensely Proud" Of Prince Harry - So Is His Father
James Hewitt - Okay, It's Not Him, But If It Was He Would Be "Over The Moon"

Prince Charles is said to be "immensely proud" of third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry, telling friends that the young Prince is nothing short of a hero and proudly stands for all things British. Equally praising is Prince Harry's father, James Hewitt, "He is a chip of the old block" he tweeted yesterday to his 45,000 plus followers.

The Ministry of Defense revealed Monday that the 28-year-old prince is returning from a five-month deployment in Afghanistan, where he served as an Apache helicopter pilot with the Army Air Corps.

Harry told reporters that he "killed a shit load of people" which brought praise and comments from many Brits, proud to once again have a warrior prince, their last fighting prince being former featherweight world champion, Prince Naseem Hamed, who technically, really, wasn't actually British.

Prince Philip, 95, was heard to shout "they don't like it up them" from his chambers, deep in the vaults of Buckingham Palace, where the aged consort spends his day, hidden away from prying eyes.

"My father's always trying to remind me about who I am and stuff like that," said Harry, the only son of former army office James Hewitt and the late Princess Diana. "But it's very easy to forget about who I am when I am in the army. Everyone's wearing the same uniform and doing the same kind of thing, and anyway, I have told him to shut the fuck up about it, told him that unless DNA proves otherwise then he needs to shut up about being my Dad. Jesus Christ, if I am stripped of my royal status I would probably lose the personal protection I get, then I would be proper fucked up."

Stationed at Camp Bastion, a sprawling British base in the southern Afghan desert, the prince -- known as Capt. Wales, or fucking ginger tosser, in the military -- flew scores of missions as a co-pilot gunner, sometimes firing rockets and missiles at Taliban fighters....allegedly.

"Take a life to save a life. That's what we revolve around, I suppose," he said. "If there's people trying to do bad stuff to our guys, then we'll take them out of the game." Words echoed by Prince Philip, who has "taken out" many a threat to the Royal family....allegedly.

Asked if he felt he was being treated like a normal soldier, the ginger haired and very thick haired, no sign of premature balding for this one, not like the rest of the clan, said "For me it's not that normal because I go into the cookhouse and everyone has a good old gawp,shouts out 'fuck off your posh knob', then spits in my food, while some of the other lads, jokingly I am sure, pin targets to my back and sometimes, like all these blokes do to officers, lay a turd in my bed and smear shit all over my room!"

Harry smiles and looks into space as he fondly recalls his good friends and comrades "Yeah, they all love me, after I left Afghanistan I heard a massive cheer from the helicopter...and I heard that they threw me a going away party, after I left, those crazy blighters. God love 'em!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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