Berlin, Germany - (Ass-o-CIA-ted Messerschmitt): Award winning German writer Gone To-grass has admitted he was a member of the Waffen-SS during World War II and helped the CIA plant dud classified information about Prescott Bush, the Bush dynasty paterfamilias and notorious Skull 'N' Bonesman who sold nerve gas to the Nazis and masterminded the theft of the skull of Native American leader Geronimo.
Grass, born in 1927, has told the German press that he was recruited by the Nazis in 1944 and served in the notorious SS stink-tank that bought chemical components from the US for the manufacture of Zyklon-B.
But all the time he was on the payroll of the Bush family, ostensibly to promote trade and ease-up wartime import-export embargos on deadly noxious substances and fatal toxins that were already occuring naturally in the Bush dynasty's business dealings.
Now in his twilight years, Grass has confessed to the sordid past after a seminal career as a Global Piss Process activist who won numerous literary awards for his works such as The Thin Crumb.
Speaking from his heavily-guarded totally secret dugout located at No 666 Messerschmittstrasse at the junction of Obergruppenfuherer Street, To-grass denied that the sordid revelation was a cynical publicity stunt created to bolster the sales of his forthcoming memoir 'Diaries of a World War II Fascist Liar', due to be published in September by the Third Reich Memorial Press (Prop. David Irving).
Asked why he was making this remarkable disclosure so late in life, Grass admitted that he had recently been busted by Interpol and had confessed to being an apologist for the Bush family and its string of serial wartime atrocities as a plea bargain to evade jail.
The disclosure may have serious repercussions on European relations with the current Bush administration in the White House, where a furious President George W Bush was said last night to be sweating heavily in between bouts of incontrollable hysteria following Grass's public revelations.
Preying chiefly on his mind was the possible cancellation of the 1 cent stamp series depicting his Bush dynasty ancestors that was to have been launched to commemorate Barbara Bush's 90th birthday.
It now seems unlikely that the even will occur as frantic PR chiefs in the White House struggle to contain the fall-out from Grass's pubic outburst.