Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 9 January 2013

image for Pet goat to stand in for Hugo Chavez inauguration
Few constitutional powers 'apart from signing checks/sacking judges/gonging up government hookers'

Caracas - A myotonic - or 'fainting' - goat that once featured in George W Bush's My Pet Goat moment during the 9/11 attack on the Twin Towers is the prime contender to take the Venezuelan president's oath of orifice tomorrow.

The proxy arrangement comes as Hugo Chavez remains hors de combat on a life support machine deep in the bowels of the presidential palace in Caracas.

Announcing the surprise move a government spokesperson said a number of proxies had been considered including:

  • a Pygmy goat borrowed from the Cameroon embassy
  • a French Rove goat, thought to be related to Dubya's erstwhile campaign guru Karl
  • an Ecuadorean Buggery goat earmarked as a playmate for Julian Assange [don't ask]


The swearing in ceremony is to be broadcast on prime time TV and officials are stressing the animal 'will have few constitutional powers after the formalities are over'.

"Well, we might just let it sign a few checks," an aide told QM-NewsCorpse stringers today, "authorise the immediate sequestration of all remaining foreign oil and gas companies, sack a few jobsworths in the Justice Ministry and gong-up our loyal government sex workers who oil the wheels of national democracy."

Expect to catch all the pomp and pageantry of the swearing in ceremony at noon tomorrow, Caracas time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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