Written by Tom Felicity Evans
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Sunday, 30 December 2012

image for Fashion Houses Favour Big Ears For 2013

After the run away success of models with a gap in their teeth through 2012, trend predictors are claiming the look for fashion for models in 2013 will be girls with big ears and a lazy eye. The look for 2014 is more difficult to predict at this stage but they are 50% sure fashion houses will be looking for girls with a runny nose. This is likely to make it very difficult for models to stay 'on trend' for longer than 3-5 days at a time, but is very good news for models with a weak immune system.

Through 2012 the desire for models with gappy teeth lead to a host of cosmetic dentistry procedures promising to give models 'the London look'. Common procedures included a complex double-upper brace system, described by cosmetic dentist Dr Apul Aday as "like forcing open a set of lift doors after they've closed". Budget options included a chisel to the face.

Cosmetic surgeons across the world are now working on procedures to give girls the big eared, lazy eyed look all the fashion houses will be after. One aspiring model, Gabby Smiley 21 from Newcastle, who wishes to remain anonymous, told us girls should consider surgery very carefully; "I had a 1 inch gap put into my teeth using special braces so I could be on trend for 2012, but by the time the gap was big enough the trend was over". Gabby and many other models in the same position are looking for work as toast racks, bottle openers or pretty places to stick your change to save up money to have their ears done and get back into modelling.

Make up expert Debbie Trowel is focusing on 2014's potential runny nose look, and is already working on a range of nose blushers who want the look but struggle to have a runny nose all year round.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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