Vatican City - (ASS-o-CIA-ted Mess): Thousands of under-cover NATO hit-squad operatives are rumoured to be milling incognito among the crowds of St Peter's Square today as the world's most senior spooks, cops and military intelligence chiefs vow to smash the ringleader of the fascist satanic cult that spearheaded the millenium campaign to elect George W Bush into the White House in 2000 and frame beardie Afgani opium dealers for the 9/11 destruction of the World Trade Center.
As the P2 Lodge's millenium global domination plan falls apart at the seams with the continued strafing of southern Lebanese cities by Pentagon-supplied and remote-controlled Patriot Act missiles, law enforcement agencies around the world are poised to enforce their own final solution to end the reign of the pestilent infestation of fundamentalist assholes that bribed the US oil industry into bankrolling General Augusto Pinochet's son, the George W Bush impersonator hired by God's Banker Roberto Calvi, into Capitol Hill.
The move follows the discovery of the buried remains of Barbara Bush's idiot first-born in a remote location in the French Pyrenees, believed to be under the crypt of the Church of St Mary Magdalene at Rennes-Le-Chateau.
Unconfirmed dormant CIA reports state that he had been executed by P2 Lodge operatives shortly after the assassination of JFK in Dallas 1963 after failing to pay his gambling and crack cocaine debts to FBI minders in Nancy Reagan's payroll.
Classified documents covering this cold war era have also stated that the current First Lady is herself a hired stand-in, reputedly Nancy Reagan's own illegitimate daughter by Frank Sinatra, after the original Laura took a fatal overdose rather than marry the cosa nostra gangster adopted by the Bush family.
Meanwhile back in London, senior MI5 chiefs have persuaded Prime Monster Tony Blair to delay the start of his annual Carribean vacation on the grounds of the need to prepare his wife Cherry Bush QC into the thrusting and dynamic new centre stage role of UN Piss Process Special Negotiator for the Middle East.
The move follows the recent arrest of Blair's erstwhile Middle East envoy Lord Levy on corruption charges in the bribes-for-honours scandal that has rocked British politics this summer.
Mrs Blair is believed to be taking a crash course in basic Hebrew and Southern Lebanese dialects and is being kitted out by Whitehall spooks with the eavesdropping full-monty as MI6 prepares to track her every move and conversation with its plethora of Sat-Nav technology gismos.
Further details are expected to emerge at the weekend.
General Pinochet is 91.