Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 27 December 2012

image for A load of argy-bargy about 'toxic' Queen Elizabeth Land
I thought you said the area's full of NOBLE gases, George, not some toxic Radon cocktail

Buenos Aires - There's been a new development in Argentine protests about the naming of a toxic scrap of Antarctica after Britain's longest running hoaxer.

The decision to rename the frozen southern wastes of the British Antarctic Territory 'Queen Elizabeth Land' was slammed by President Cristina Kirchner as imperialistic clap-trap.

However the Argentine blowhard's stance has softened a little following a recent discovery by UNESCO scientists of massive radon gas deposits in the area.

The deadly substance is so toxic that it can 'kill an Emperor King Penguin or stray polar bear' with just one itsy-bitsy stray molecule according to the World Stealth Organization's endangered wildlife reports.

"It makes this segment of the vast icy continent the world's top toxicity hub," Argentina's Science Minister Chiquita Belgrano said today, "kinda ironic wouldn't you say?"

Geologists have long suspected the existence of huge 'noble gas' deposits in the Southern Antarctic region, ripe for plunder by energy companies.

Guesstimates claim an abundance of extractable helium, neon, argon, krypton and xenon 'worth around $100 trillion' existed if only a safe method of drilling and extraction was found.

The latest discovery is bound to prove a huge embarrassment for the UK government including daft royal arselicker William Hague, the country's Foreign Secretary, credited with the 'brainwave' that has named the icy stretch after Mrs Betty Windsor.

A proposed royal State Visit to the toxic scrapheap may now be cancelled.

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