Washington D.C. - By executive order, per the White House dot com news story section, all small arms are banned.
TheSpoof.com reproduces the order here:
"Small arms have been implicated in too many crimes. To many widdows. Too many sisters without a big brother. Too many brothers without a little sister. They have been used to kill. They have been used to rob. They have been used to rape. They have been used by bad guys. They have caused all kinds of issues. They have caused many to use tissues. So, all small arms are hereby banned. There is one exception. Women under 5 feet tall may have small arms, so long as they are at least 20 inches long."